Depression is one of those things people don't really want a Christian to talk about, even those who are not Christian rather believe we live unrealistic, happy lives with no problems.
This has been a bad week for me. The stress levels have been higher than normal. I can't handle too much more of it.
Reality is depression exists in the depth of the human soul, while a Christian has the audaty to claim God's control over their lives. they are no less likely to suffer from depression than the next. Depression exists where wounds are, the kind that dented and damaged you over time.
Depression is a black hole. It sucks you in and its awful hard to climb out of.
Its been a bad week. Not that I have lost anyone, or had any trauma. Just that I have that absent sense of panic, the horrendous thought that i am trapped. Those two things alone are enough, throw in doctors, pain and university due dates and you have me in a ball of stress.
Im trying to relax. It isnt going well either.. but im trying.
I learn't long ago that God is indeed in control of my life, that things might suck but it does not change the facts.
Reality is a good thing to logically think through sometimes. Logic is a friend when panic sets in.
So I am going to get myself moving on things for me, starting with my writing, which i had planned to do for the month of November. Then work on finishing up my university work... then I am taking 3mths to clean house and recover a bit. Hopefully moving past this ball of stress thing.
