This is a post aimed at Christians; feel free to read it; but understand that when I am writing it is intended for someone who is a Christian - who holds that belief and comprehends the key parts. It might be interesting otherwise, but I don't know. That is it.. my disclaimer.
The damage we do to other people. More specifically, the damage we do unwittingly as Christians to other Christians is horrifying. Especially to those who are not in a position of power; who are already in a mode of surrender or shut down - we push and shove our way to the top and make them bruised and broken more than they already are. It is terrible; horrible things we do. What makes it worse, it is not intentional harm. We don't mean to hurt them; we are giving good advice; we are speaking truths over their lives offering encouragement!
Unfortunately what we think of as truth, encouragement and good advice sounds a lot less that way. Listen to these words:
You don't pray enough, you don't believe enough, you obviously are not claiming God's healing in your life, it is your fault you are sick and not healed - it means you have a hidden sin someplace, you just need to pray, you need to pray more, healing has already come and you just can't see it, and you are not really a christian if you are still sick.
I have heard them all directed at myself personally; it has created a sense of skepticism in my faith concerning healing and prayer; not because I don't believe in healing - I do, and I have seen some amazing things; nor is it because I don't think God is able - I know He is. What I hear however is that either people do not want to know about sickness from some sense of not wanting to deal with it; or they are not certain how the Bible speaks about it.
I can't talk about death and terminal illness. Though I hope some of my thoughts might apply; I am in no position to speak for someone who has or is dealing with the loss of someone dear, or the reality they might face. I also can't talk about refugees and war; none of that is in my experience and my heart truly aches for those who have to flee their homes because of such things. The things we see in life tend to stay with us forever; they build into who we are. In some ways this will be true of all pain; even or especially pain of the heart.
I have fibromyalgia; it isn't going to kill me; but it does make life very painful. It is not going away, there is no cure, no treatment. There is ongoing research into what it is exactly. They are learning new things every day.
What I do want to do is mention this silence we give to the topic of pain and suffering. To the area we avoid talking about or admitting is a real part of the Christian life. Maybe it is the end purpose to my own pain; that I might be able to speak about it and bring light to this darkened area. At least I hope so.
First thing to realise is this:
Healing does and can happen. God will heal. Everyone.
The big issue is does He do it now? Or are we able to perceive a future beyond death where we are healed? Faith is one of those things that requires us to question to ponder, to wonder at what God is doing. That's how faith gets it's substance. (go on read Heb 11:1). So I believe we will be healed as promised.
Second thing:
Life is meant to be lived in honesty, and integrity; submitted wholeheartedly to God.
I am a key points kind of person I suppose; the second key is pretty much how I view life. I don't see myself as perfect or wondrous; I just want to live honestly
and with great love.
Christians are really good at pretending everything is okay when it is not. We like to hide a lot of how we feel; and how we really are. If we are in pain - mental pain or physical - we never tell people. If we did; we run the risk of being told the things I have mentioned in the first paragraph. We run the risk of exposing our heart to damage. On the rare occasion it exposes the heart to great love; but those occasions are so uncommon that we tend to keep ourselves hidden. It is worse for someone who has already got the scars and wounds from being treated badly by people to be treated badly by a fellow Christian who does not intend it. I speak from experience there too.
I sat down to think about this topic; well actually I was trying to sleep and the topic kept eating at my mind. So then I sat down to figure this out; to think through the questions I imagined would come up when you present the topic of pain and suffering. Let me share with you the questions I thought of and my response. // I have got Scripture for the responses but since I haven't slept yet I am just writing the thoughts and will come back with scripture at a later point//
1. Is it wrong to talk about pain?
Not in the slightest. Being honest is part of being a Christian. It is hard to be honest though when things are not easy to talk about. Taking a risk, being vulnerable, admitting you are not strong or as strong as people expect can sometimes feel like a loss. In the end you just might free another person from the same constraints; from the same dark corners you found yourself in.
2. Is sickness made worse by acknowledging you are not well?
If I am honest; the only sickness I know of in my own life that is made worse by acknowledging it is the common cold. I think only my husband would know how bad the fibromyalgia gets at times, I simply do not go out or do things; but I do get annoyed by it; and vocal. If anything, trying to ignore being sick will make things worse. No amount of ignoring will stop you sneezing with a cold; there is no 'name it' theory at work, if you say you have fibromyalgia it does not mean that you are deciding to somehow have it be what controls your life. Sickness is a factor in a fallen world; it is not made worse by talking about it.
3. Are you somehow "removing joy" because you honestly explain how you are?
I have wondered this myself, and maybe I do not have the answer. I fail at mind reading, and people reading. I cant tell what they are thinking. When I was at university I thought I had to try and be happy despite the deep problems and pain I was going through. I was always tired, always sore, it was not that I ever gave up doing things (unlike now when I have been more or less forced to) but if someone asked me how I was I never responded with 'good' or the normal expected response. I was tired; I had trouble with sleeping (even then) trouble with moving around. It took me a long time to realize that Joy is not dependent on how we are. It isn't dependent on how anyone else is either; it is a choice. Joy more than any other element of the Christian life is chosen despite circumstances; seldom because of them.
That is not to say that good things don't happen; but rather we don't require everything to be peachy to find joy.
4. Is it sin that causes sickness/pain?
Yes and no.
The yes is simple: there are always consequences to our actions. Sometimes pain/illness is caused indirectly. Sometimes it is the consequences of someone else's actions (abuse for example) and sometimes it is because we jumped off a roof. See what I mean? It goes back to the old cause and effect - sickness and pain is an end result.
Sometimes the answer is no; sickness/pain can just be. They happen. Bad things happen in the world; we have no control over them. Sadly we like to think we do; and that leads us to asking this kind of question in the first place.
5. What does it mean if you are not healed? What if you have prayed daily for healing and there was still nothing?
I reiterate... I believe in healing 100%. I believe in a God who still works miracles. I have prayed often asking for healing and am still in pain. I do not very often make that statement because my prayer life is something very personal and private. I rarely pray aloud in groups, and I rarely make that kind of statement.
One thing I know for certian is this: If I live my life in submission to God willing to allow Him to work in His timing instead of trying to argue my case for instant healing - after all that would be nice - but look for opportunities to encourage, to life up, to bring joy DESPITE the pain and circumstances. Then that's a better life than being well and chasing my own goals and dreams. It brings me in line, it keeps me grounded. Maybe that is what Paul was dealing with, with his infamous thorn.
So basically, it does not mean anything. It means keep holding to faith; believe in walking with God through the valley, He hasn't left you alone. He also has not given up on you. No matter how much your sickness or pain makes you despair, God is always there. His grace will be sufficient. No one can know those words better than someone dealing with the reality of day to day pain or illness.
6. If you are not healed is it: because you don't want it enough? because you lack faith? because you are not close enough to God?
I confess, I have no idea what life would be like if I was healed. I don't know. I tend towards expending a lot of energy in doing and going; the can't sit still type (I can't sit and watch tv for example without doing something - writing, drawing, playing a game) I don't know what a healed-Jaki would look like. Would I even linger in the sense of faith I actually have now? Or would I sail off at a million miles chasing the world? The reality is maybe I don't want to have to deal with it.
However that isn't the reason for not being healed, nor is a lack of faith nor is it because you are not close to God. Healing is not a magic trick. It isn't a game of favorites. If we chose to follow Christ, we chose to give our life over to God's purpose. Whatever that entails. To allow God to use you, healthy, wealthy, sick, poor - whatever you are- that's what we signed up for. YES God DOES heal, but it might well be that there is more to learn, more to give, more to share, more joy to be found, in your current circumstances, than you would receive from the instant healing and moving on thing.
To the Christian who thinks these things: do you imagine that life with pain and illness is somehow easy? That sickness/pain is an optional extra? The person who deals with pain is more likely to call upon God; more likely to know the path Jesus took for us; to comprehend (though we do not share the level of suffering He went through on the cross) that journey He took for us. Was He a sinner that his pain was caused by it? Did He lack faith? God has not looked down on the hurting and broken, He has not tossed them aside. (He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged (is 42:3)). So why do we?
7. If you live with chronic illness are you meant to "suck it up" to go to Church and pretend to health?
I used to think this
. It has a lot to do with how I was raised to go to Church in nice clothes, with my good manners, to not talk or whisper, or anything of the kind. To listen and pray but not to show my pain or illness. Of course that was never directly taught; but I learnt it from watching the adults. I am guessing it has a lot to do with a few generations ago; and the not giving of personal welfare kind of information to the public sphere. Never admit you had no food, no money, or no job; what happened at home stayed there.
I still remember the first time I was prayed over because of being sick. It was awe inspiring and I got well quickly. It was one of those influenza bouts from when I was a child; and i was in my Grandparents care at the time - and going with them to every service, and bible study. Usually I participated (I was a remarkably strange child and preferred the adults conversation to the kids) and this one time I was just sick. I slept off and on, and at the end of the night they prayed for and over me.
Sometimes not just sucking it up, pretending to be well, is going to help. Sometimes we need to have people voluntarily care for us. This is a whole other topic, on how the Church is meant to fulfill the role of care for the sick; but often fails; especially in cases of long term illness.
8. How in that way are we meant to deal with mental illness?
Mental illness is just that. Illness. It is not something caused by the sin of the person in front of you. Depression, PTSD, Bipolar, and others are symptoms of our age and times; but certainly very rarely, the core result of someone's own personal actions. To care for someone with a mental illness is a difficult road. Living with it, that is even harder. We can only imagine the daily struggles. Personally I have been diagnosed with depression and PTSD, I promise you nothing I do can change the impact those two things have on my life. The impact includes being difficult to get to know; and in turn to make friends. I know this; I can't fix it. It makes for a very isolated and lonely existence sometimes. It is another area of care I think we can do better on as Church.
9. Does God make us sick?
NO.
Sickness I believe is caused by the state of the world we live in. Germs, bugs, and so on we catch that cause things like the common cold, virus' and infections are not something we would have had to deal with outside of the fact that man sinned originally and was sent packing from Eden because of that. The consequences are as you imagine now dire, as we wind our way through towards the end times; it will get and has gotten worse.
God however can and will use what we allow him to. Visits to doctors, hospitals and so on where we are representing our faith, we get to choose to live Joy, and offer our lives as a canvas that God can work an amazing work of art on. IF we let Him.
Now I am starting to fall asleep here, which is a good thing. I hope that what I have written here makes sense, and feel free to ask me questions. I will of course go back over everything when I have slept and read about all the things I said that were wrong -.- be blessed, choose Joy.
